There have been so many times in my life that I have not communicated what needed to be communicated because I was creating a story of how I was “supposed” to be. When I started to let go of “shoulds”, “have tos”, and “musts”, I was able to create space to be authentically myself. If I’m being completely honest (which of course I am because this is a blog about speaking truth), it can feel really awkward at first. Even more so, it can feel scary. Even more than that, it can feel WRONG. Like literally, you can feel bad for simply speaking your truth. So don’t expect to feel great when you first start this practice. Begin to notice what it feels like and ask yourself questions about the experience. Was I able to keep my heart open? How do I feel about myself now? Did I say exactly what I meant to say? Why or why not?
In one of the books I read recently, Warrior Goddess Training by Heatherash Amara, she calls out some of the common societal beliefs that stop us from speaking our truth. Check them out:
Children and/or girls should be seen and not not heard
Lie to someone if you think the truth will hurt them
Speaking your mind is bossy or too assertive
You should always support whatever your partner prefers
You should put the needs of others before your own
It’s better to not say anything than to upset others
These are just to name a few, but you get the gist. Be gentle with yourself as you start to practice speaking truth. As you dip your toes in a bit you will start to develop the skills and begin witnessing yourself making new choices that feel aligned with the who you really are at the core. It causes so much discomfort and resentment when we say “yes”, but we really mean “no”.
I promise you that you can say “no” from a place of love.
Trust me, it’s far better than saying “yes” from a place of fear.
Speaking your truth does not mean we voice everything we think, nor is it an excuse to be cruel or harmful. This is just the practice of diving deep, acknowledging and exploring what feels right to YOU, trusting your inner guidance, and having the willingness to speak it even in situations where the listener (or yourself) may be uncomfortable with what you have to say.
“No matter how difficult and painful it may be, nothing sounds as good to the soul as the truth” - Martha Beck
Here are my 5 favorite tips for following your truth.
1. Meditate daily and create space to journal. This allows you to pay attention and notice what is coming up for you in stillness.
2.Ask yourself these questions: Are my words and behaviors in alignment with my authentic truth? Where am I out of balance? How can I get back on track?
3. Before taking action (making a big decision or having a conversation with someone in your life) make sure you’re coming from a place of love.
4. Make a commitment to yourself that you will always honor your truth. In times when you stumble a bit or minimize what you’re feeling (which will happen), make sure you go back and honor your truth. Make a promise to yourself right now. You will always go back and make it right. This is how we build the muscle.
5. Think of someone in your life that is a truth speaker and try to embody that energy. Surrounding yourself with people that model this behavior can be so empowering as you start to unapologetically speak truth.
As Matthew McConaughey says: The truth is only offensive when it’s a lie.
Truth is always heart centered, and when we’re coming from a place of love, our truth serves all.